July 22, 2008
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My God, My God, I do not understand marriage. Nor do I understand the
craze that seems to suggest to people "hey, even though you've only
known each other for three weeks and have only great physical chemistry
between you, it's still a perfect time to get married because, hey, you
can get divorced should it not work out!"Where is the gravity for which marriage, a HUGE step, calls? Really,
have all level-headed young women decided the earlier the better for
marriage, perhaps in fear that if not now, when?LOVE IS NOT LUST. AND MARRIAGE NEEDS TO BE CONSIDERED FOR A LENGTHY
PERIOD OF TIME, ALLOWING FOR LIVING TOGETHERNESS IN ORDER TO DETERMINE
THE DEPTH OF SAID UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. WHY, WHY WOULD YOU SUBJECT
YOURSELF TO YOUNG MARRIAGE, PREGNANCY, CHILDREN, WHEN STATISTICS SHOW
THAT HALF, THAT'S RIGHT HALF, OF YOU WILL BE DIVORCED WITH STILL AN
UNCOUNTABLE AMOUNT COMPLETELY MARRIED AND UNHAPPY?BULLSHIT.
That's right, I said bullshit. Buck the fuck up, gain some
self-confidence, and learn to live alone, in charge of only you.
Because if you don't, you'll be pretty damn clueless when you find
yourself abandoned at thirty-five with teenage children and no means of
providing for yourself, much less them. Jesus.Why is it that stupidity is the least curable, most common epidemic in this country?
Comments (3)
Yikes, Kate!
I've seen my fair share of too-young trainwreck marriages, so I totally get the rant, and in many cases I think it's valid. But be careful of overgeneralizations--the fact that there are bad examples of young marriages doesn't mean that there is a hard and fast age limit, nor does it mean every couple should live together first, nor does it mean that all young women getting married are completely giving up their own lives. People are individuals, and each couple is different.
I'm not mad or offended or anything, it's just sort of tiring and disheartening to hear so many people with such a cynical attitude toward marriage at a time when I'm trying to start mine off on the right foot. Marriage is terrifyingly huge, but in my opinion the only healthy way to go into it is with the expectation that it will take a lot of hard work, but that it will also be wonderful.
Hmm...I sort of just blogged on your blog. Sorry. But those are my two cents! I hope you're doing great.
Ouch. Sorry. I was writing, slightly tipsy, while reviewing someone's page that I knew who was talking about having children to keep her company while her husband was away. I really don't think that way about all marriages, but when you grow up in a place like this, that tends to be the direction that marriage takes, which is frustrating. Again, sorry, I really wasn't trying to attack anyone, and yes it was a poor overgeneralization.
It's cool, I totally understand. And that is a terrible idea on that person's part. NOT A REASON TO HAVE CHILDREN.
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