I had a dream last night that reeked of closure. It was bittersweet, but heavier on the sweet than on the bitter. I spent a long time feeling bitter, slighted, cheated. It was like my subconscious unlocked all of the good things that I knew and still repressed because it was easier to feel bitter, slighted, cheated. It came to a peaceful conclusion which is that he cared for me, always will in some way, but things changed as we tried to catch the same train and one of us missed it. Happens. And even though it was only a dream, it felt real enough to give me peace and happiness. On to the next then. Or to nothing.

As I said to Rachel just today, love isn't happening for me. And even though that is a longing of my heart, I can live without it. I will keep doing what I want to do in my own time, and I'll make the most of everything I've been given and have worked for, forsaking wishes, and build a life that is exciting for me. What could be better?

And so in the spirit of freedom, I'm sojourning to Costa Rica for three weeks this summer. I'm going to backpack my way across the country, stay in hostels, eat local food, and brush up my horrendous Spanish. I'm also fully planning to hike through the rainforest, sometime before or after I zipline through its canopy. I might take pictures, but I don't own a digital camera and I can't afford one. So maybe not. Either way, I'm carving my spot.